Kegs, Limos & Ambulances: My First Year of University in Ottawa

It all started the day I walked back into high school for a victory lap year to up my grades and get into University. Well first day back from Summer I was rolling in with a brutally sprained ankle. Like ripe throbbing type deal. Was pretty horrible. So I got to my first class and pull up a second chair. My doctor suggested I keep the foot elevated, so I did. Within moments, a power thirsty Catholic school teacher was demanding I follow her classroom rules and not elevate my foot. Bam sent down to the principles office haha. I left that high school that afternoon and never went back.

From there I managed to get in the back door of a brand new media arts program at a local college. An easy booze ridden year with 75% got me a one way ticket to my school of choice in Ottawa, Ontario. Carleton University. Problem was I had no place to live. So I drove up to my cousins place and began the hunt. After seeing 10 or so houses I got a phone call. The situation: A guy owned a house that he was tearing down at the end of the year. In his words, “Turn it into a fraternity house if you want” I don’t care.

We proceeded to throw a keg party that got bigger and bigger every month. Eventually ending up in a ginourmous blowout party with limos, strippers, kegs and ambulances. Maybe i’ll go into a bit more tom each party but the wildest was probably the very last one. I had posted an add for a topless bartender on a local classifieds site called kijiji for those not in Canada (that’s craiglists equivalent here.) In came a stream of topless photos and I went ahead and added the tag “Topless Bartenders” to flyers that were posted on campus.

That night there was several hinder people packed into a bungalow and a wild party went down. But some jackasses ended up tearing down a portion of the patio. obviously this lead to a big fight and eventually a full street brawl went down. The first group of guys led the party but walked by a dumpster and decided to come back warrior style with pipes and bricks somewhere along Prince Of Whales Dr. in Ottawa. I can tell you at least 2 people needed facial restructuring surgery.

Was pretty brutal, house was demolished, good thing the house was literally being demolished the next month. But most spectacular of all. No fines and no tickets. I pretended to be the sole owner of the Carleton University off-campus student house. Told the cops that I got knocked out early, woke up and my house was being trashed…Can’t believe they bought it, or perhaps they just felt bad, but I never had to pay for those ambulances for any of the list of laws that were broken. Perhaps I’ll find some pictures. and post this up with some visuals of the previous parties. This post was little more real than you’d normally see from a future shop owner but..this is me and working with real people is better anyways.

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